I'm not only watching Rampage, but I'm doing a live review of it? Fuck it, right!?
Tony is following up on the buzz of Miro vs Hobbs with...oh... The latter is set to split with some friends soon, btw.
Up first, we have Jeff and Matt Hardy teaming with the Lucha Bros to take on Lethal, Double J, Butcher, and Blade. A pretty random atomico to kick us off doesn't do much for my hopes that this episode is going to be very good, if I'm being blunt. I feel this show is filler at best more often than not already.
We go PIP early on and sadly the commercials seem to grab my attention more than the tiny window in the corner. I'm actually a fan of everyone on the face side of this, but it's still hard to care. When we return, Fenix would get a hot tag while Bunny screamed at ringside. The former helped add a nice spark to things and Penta added in for good measure.
Alex would fight for his right to dive into doom, adding in some unneeded circus act stuff. At least it was semi-entertaining.
Fenix would pin Blade moments later.
This was an okay TV opener but nothing special.
Matt and Jeff were laid out on the ramp after while Vincent looked over them.
Hardys, Lucha Bros b Butcher & Blade, Triple J
Rating: **1/2
QTV time. Sadly. QT signing a new contract and winning gold in AAA is not the 2023 I wanted to see. This segment is not something I wanted to see, either. I'm sure some folks enjoyed that. I didn't.
Matt Sydal and The Fallen Angel are out next and edgy 90's flames are in full display. Who are they facing? The Kingdom's Taven and Bennett, who'd promise Strong that they still loved him or something like that. They run down the card for Grand Slam for us a bit as Mike and Chris set the tone and pace. A Ring of Honor showcase, the vets would even get a This is Awesome chant. Were they family members sitting near the front?
Honestly, even if I don't understand the chant (that didn't really pick up any steam), I did find this to be an okay contest in general. The PIP was a bit distracting too, but I'm sure I should be thankful that they do that instead of just the alternative. The Thrillogy ad and Collision teaser distracted me again and then we actually went full on commercial break mode so it was basically the same thing as the alternative, actually.
Shortly after we returned, The Kingdom locked in and got the W. Taven would grab a mic while Mike ran around whining. Matt blamed Cole for Strong getting fucked up and said that they want the ROH Tag belts again.
It's neck health awareness month. Do you believe? If not you're gonna get a dick punch and a piledriver, apparently.
The Kingdom b Sydal, Daniels
Rating: **3/4
Prince, Swerve, and Cage had a chat with Renee backstage next. Strickland said he wants Hung Bucks versus Mogul at Grand Slam is set.
Listen! It's The Acclaimed out to talk some shit and scissor each other.
The fans were pretty behind Bowens and crew, but honestly this was just a throwaway squash and nothing else. Avalon would eat the pin after being murdered. The scissor party was broken up by Dark Order.
The meat man reminded us all that they're the good guys. They want the belts.
Anthony asks why Dark Order deserves a shot. Evil says they've proven their worth and then disses The Acclaimed's schtick. Rock, paper, scissors was played to determine who'd get a singles match at Collision against one of Dark Order's ranks but they just kept running scissors.
Bowens eventually yielded and said he wanted to spank one of them.
The Acclaimed, Gunn b Avalon, The Outrunners
Rating: NR
The new Aquaman looks fun. I browsed Twitter a bit instead of watching most of the other ads. The Oscar Mayer wienermobile was near me the other day. That's fun, I guess...
Oh look, it's Aussie Open. They dropped one to Jericho and Sammy so those two could build their story, and just dropped the ROH straps in short order so they needed a squash, I suppose.
I dug the intensity on display, at least. I consider them one of the best teams in the division and am very invested in their trajectory.
Aussie Open b Chambers, Crewe
Rating: NR
Collision is promoted next. I doubt I'll be watching live, but you can catch BOUT BLITZ next week here on RWplusB for coverage and commentary. Grand Slam is also promoted as is WrestleDream. Excalibur is gonna lose his voice in the middle of one of these one day. That or pass out.
They'll fix it in post.
Jade is out for her go-away match. She made the choice to split, which is fine honestly, so they made the smart choice to have her eat a clean pin from the current TBS Champ. Jade's face said it all. While Jade was indeed green here, she did well in the downstretch. Kris looked really good here, too. A surprise, perhaps, but I ended up liking this more than I thought I would. Props. The closing moments in particular worked well.
The two would hug after. Whatever goodbye that occurred didn't air.
Kris defends against Baker tomorrow.
TBS Title: Kris(c) b Jade
Rating: ***1/4
The most forgettable series AEW could possibly make was once again largely skippable. I'm thankful for Kris that she got a statement win and thought that was better than expected, but that's about it unless something listed above really just does it for you. No judgement if so. Heck, Bowens saying he'd be sending someone to spank-town is surely a thing people will wanna see, right? This is, as suggested, a no judgement zone.
Overall Rating: 60%
Note that my writing style, especially for live coverage, isn't for everyone. Hell, I'm a bit of a douche at times, I'm sure. I know some of y'all do enjoy my work though, and I really do appreciate you're time. Be kind to yourself and others and have a badass weekend!
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