How to Decarb Your Flower on the Stove (Without Stinking up Your House)

So, you are in a legal state or country and you've just gotten some flower. You want to get the help from the plant for stress, pain relief, or just recreational use because you have a whole lot of food about to go bad and you want an appetite to tame that beast. You also hate smoking and know that method wastes a lot of the chemicals of the plant.

What the fuck do you do?

We'll, making edibles is the easiest thing in the world and is only limited by your own imagination. Here's how to do it in the minimalistic fashion and you'll keep the odor to a minimum.

Step One: Trim Your Grass

If you have a way to cut your flower down, such as a grinder, use it here. If not, be a cheap ass and just try to grind it up with your hands or or something as best as you can. Get it broken down as best as possible.

Step Two: Place in Mason Jar with Butter or Nutella

Take the flower from step one and place it in a mason jar with something fatty. I think butter or Nutella works best as a starting base, personally. You can do this entire process by simply placing the herb in the jar alone, but this step makes later recipes easier. Hell, you can use the result of this step as a spread for toast to get toasted and keep shit very simple so go ahead and try not to skip this part.

Step Three: Fill a Pan with Enough Water Cover Half of the Jar

Place that closed jar in a pan and, as suggested, add enough water to cover up about half of the jar. Turn that shit on and let it get to a low simmer. Don't heat the water if you don't already have the jar in first. It could shatter. Use a method of choice to keep the jar from moving.

Step Four: Add Coffee to the Water

That water? Go ahead and add some ground coffee to it. The smell put off when it gets hot will make your place smell like coffee, which is always good, and should cover up any of the minor edible scents.

Step Five:  Cook for About 90 Minutes

Go ahead and let that cook for about 90 minutes. Past that, it's up to you. I've posted recipes for a raspberry cheesecake spread HERE if you want a suggestion.


Let me know if you have any questions and please, don't be a dumbass.